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Jan. 30th, 2007 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizzybennetI had a spat with Nanny Zou today, through Chris. Poor guy. He is stuck in the middle of our bickering because we can only communicate through him. It began innocently enough. Zou mentioned that we were about to run out of laundry soap so she would pick some up in the morning and bring it with her. I told her not to worry about it, because I'm planning a major shopping trip tomorrow afternoon and I'll get it then. Zou says that won't be soon enough because she'll need it in the morning. Ok, I say, I'll go get it tonight. I have to go to the store anyway to get milk for breakfast. Zou then goes to the kitchen and brings out the oil jug to show me that we are almost out. She says she'll get it in the morning and bring it. No, I insist, I'll get it myself. Zou points out the Chris and I are both sick (and we are. We have quite the horrific colds right now) and she's just trying to make it easy for us. It's ok, I reply. We need milk, I have to go to the store. I'll get it.
Why, you may wonder, was I so insistent upon getting these things myself? Wouldn't it make more sense, logistically, just to let her do my shopping for me? After all, she was quite insistent that she wanted to do it. Ah, you see, you thus far ignorant of the events that took place last week. Let me fill you in: Zou arrived one morning with her arms loaded down with grocery bags. This was a surprise to me because neither Chris nor I asked her to pick anything up. As a matter of fact we had gone to the store ourselves the night before. Of course, Zou bought several of the same items we did: sugar, bananas, juice, etc. When I pointed out to her that we'd also bought these things, she kind of made an exasperated "oh!" sound. Then she proceeded to tell Chris that she wished she had known we went to the store. Turns out she got up early and rode her bike to Carrefour in the cold (maybe it was raining too?) This made me angry. We didn't ask her to shop for us, she took it upon herself, yet she's going to try and lay a guilt trip on us?
I've learned by now that this is simply her personality. She needs to make sure we know everything she does for us. She needs to make sure we know how much things cost, how inconvenient things are, how long things take, etc, all for our sake. On the day of, Mariannette's Nanny told us she had free tickets to an American orchestra that was in town (turned out to be a University orchestra). She invited us. We agreed to go, but when the time to go came, we were still in a meet-the-new-students-meeting and couldn't leave gracefully. Plus, Connor had already fallen asleep and we were all still slightly jet-lagged. We called and apologized but we just couldn't make it. Mariannette's Nanny was ok with that. Our nanny wasn't. She called us herself to let us know that she'd been waiting and waiting for us. The next day, she brought the ticket to us to show that it was a VIP seat worth over 500 rmb (ignoring the fact that these tickets were free!) She had to be certain we knew how inconvenienced she/they had been.
So now do you understand why I was so insistent that she not do the shopping? I don't like her making me feel guilty over things I didn't ask her to do. I can very well do the shopping myself. Besides this odd sort of power struggle between us, she's still as awesome as ever. Also, her job has gotten more challenging this semester. She's alone with the kids for 3 hours every morning while I attend class. It's more difficult for her to get stuff done, and I think that is stressing her out. I've started doing more around the house, so she won't feel overloaded by what's not getting done. She really does take her job seriously. Maybe that's what I need to understand.
And now, because I want to keep rambling
I'm really enjoying my Chinese class. Initially there were 6 people in the class. Now there are only 2, myself and Pangeline. Isn't that a cool name? Pangeline is about my mom's age and working on her second degree. She has her masters in theology and is a Episcopalian minister. She was born in Jamaica, raised in England and now lives in Brooklyn. I sometimes wonder if she feels lonely among all the young students here. It turns out that we have a real party crowd this semester. I've invited her over for dinner tomorrow night. We have to study for our first "real" exam. She's much better at the characters than I am, but I'm better at the actual speaking than she is.
Today I learned how to say "I am a student. Are you a student. No, I'm not a teacher. I'm an American. Are you an American? Are you Chinese?" and various variations thereof. The cool thing is, it stuck. I remember how to say it all. I really like this learning to communicate stuff. This evening I was riding in the car with Driver Fang as she took me to the grocery store to get the oil, laundry soap and milk we so desperately needed. I really wanted to practice my language skillz on her, but I felt too sheepish. What if she thought I was ridiculous for suddenly blurting out "I am an American. Are you Chinese?" I just sat there in silence. She asked me a question, and I just took a guess that the question was "do you want me to wait and bring you home?" so I said yes. I think the question may have been "do you want me to go shopping with you?" because she came in and pushed my cart around for me. I am lucky to have so many people looking out for me, aren't I? Maybe she did want to show off her American friend, I don't know, but I don't really care either. It was nice.
While I was standing in line, I heard someone say my name and turned around to see two students: Lynn and Alex. These two kids are a very interesting case. They are an item, although they weren't before they got to China. Alex always wears a toboggan with his blond hair brushed into his eyes. He is also an extremely intelligent person. This is his third study abroad, having been to the Czech republic and Ukraine before China. He was one of the ones who dropped out of my Chinese 101 class. He likes to have deep conversations about politics (his major) but he also will humor my kids and listen as they ramble on and on about meteors vs. meteorites. Also, one more tidbit about Alex is that he has had a root canal since he's been in China. Ack. I've never had a root canal, but I certainly wouldn't want my first one to be in China! He's been seeing a western trained dentist, so that's good at least. I have to say though, he does make me feel a bit old. When I asked him how his dentist appointment went, he said he'd been "felt up in the wrong way" by the dentist. I was shocked to hear that a dentist would do such a thing to a patient under anesthesia. Turns out it was just a slang expression...am I that old that I don't "get it" anymore?
I offered Lynn and Alex a ride home with Driver Fang which they gratefully accepted. Getting onto campus in a taxi is hard and Driver Fang is familiar with the guards. They always just let her right through the gate. So, while we were driving back, Alex started asking me why I was taking 101 instead of 102. In other words, he thought my Chinese was good enough that I should be in 102. As flattering as that is, it's not at all true :) I know a few choice phrases and not all of them are all that useful. He then went on to tell me how he'd heard several people talking about how good Chris' language skillz are. Yeah, tell me something I don't know, lol! I'm not bashful when it comes to bragging on my hubby. People always tell me how good his Chinese is. As I'm beginning to learn the language myself, I realize what an accomplishment this is. As I write this, he is typing away at a syllabus to send a way with an application. He's looking hard for jobs for the fall.
Speaking of which, he has officially been offered the chanced to stay here in the fall. We'll keep that option open in case we have no other job offers, but we both feel that we owe it to our kids to get them back to the States. Both Zack and Petey are literally counting down the months and days until we leave China for good. "And then I'm never coming back to China in my whole life!" says Petey. I'm sure they'll change their mind eventually, but for now they feel very strongly about this :)
One last thought: I cleaned up the trash on the grassy hill. My kids play on that grassy hill all the time and it's sprinkled with litter. Today I decided to do something about it and I picked most of it up. It felt good to do something like that. No one made me do it, no one knew I did it, but it looked so much better. I made myself happy.
And now, good night. Let's hope I don't cough all night long with this yucky cold. I need sleep.
Why, you may wonder, was I so insistent upon getting these things myself? Wouldn't it make more sense, logistically, just to let her do my shopping for me? After all, she was quite insistent that she wanted to do it. Ah, you see, you thus far ignorant of the events that took place last week. Let me fill you in: Zou arrived one morning with her arms loaded down with grocery bags. This was a surprise to me because neither Chris nor I asked her to pick anything up. As a matter of fact we had gone to the store ourselves the night before. Of course, Zou bought several of the same items we did: sugar, bananas, juice, etc. When I pointed out to her that we'd also bought these things, she kind of made an exasperated "oh!" sound. Then she proceeded to tell Chris that she wished she had known we went to the store. Turns out she got up early and rode her bike to Carrefour in the cold (maybe it was raining too?) This made me angry. We didn't ask her to shop for us, she took it upon herself, yet she's going to try and lay a guilt trip on us?
I've learned by now that this is simply her personality. She needs to make sure we know everything she does for us. She needs to make sure we know how much things cost, how inconvenient things are, how long things take, etc, all for our sake. On the day of, Mariannette's Nanny told us she had free tickets to an American orchestra that was in town (turned out to be a University orchestra). She invited us. We agreed to go, but when the time to go came, we were still in a meet-the-new-students-meeting and couldn't leave gracefully. Plus, Connor had already fallen asleep and we were all still slightly jet-lagged. We called and apologized but we just couldn't make it. Mariannette's Nanny was ok with that. Our nanny wasn't. She called us herself to let us know that she'd been waiting and waiting for us. The next day, she brought the ticket to us to show that it was a VIP seat worth over 500 rmb (ignoring the fact that these tickets were free!) She had to be certain we knew how inconvenienced she/they had been.
So now do you understand why I was so insistent that she not do the shopping? I don't like her making me feel guilty over things I didn't ask her to do. I can very well do the shopping myself. Besides this odd sort of power struggle between us, she's still as awesome as ever. Also, her job has gotten more challenging this semester. She's alone with the kids for 3 hours every morning while I attend class. It's more difficult for her to get stuff done, and I think that is stressing her out. I've started doing more around the house, so she won't feel overloaded by what's not getting done. She really does take her job seriously. Maybe that's what I need to understand.
And now, because I want to keep rambling
I'm really enjoying my Chinese class. Initially there were 6 people in the class. Now there are only 2, myself and Pangeline. Isn't that a cool name? Pangeline is about my mom's age and working on her second degree. She has her masters in theology and is a Episcopalian minister. She was born in Jamaica, raised in England and now lives in Brooklyn. I sometimes wonder if she feels lonely among all the young students here. It turns out that we have a real party crowd this semester. I've invited her over for dinner tomorrow night. We have to study for our first "real" exam. She's much better at the characters than I am, but I'm better at the actual speaking than she is.
Today I learned how to say "I am a student. Are you a student. No, I'm not a teacher. I'm an American. Are you an American? Are you Chinese?" and various variations thereof. The cool thing is, it stuck. I remember how to say it all. I really like this learning to communicate stuff. This evening I was riding in the car with Driver Fang as she took me to the grocery store to get the oil, laundry soap and milk we so desperately needed. I really wanted to practice my language skillz on her, but I felt too sheepish. What if she thought I was ridiculous for suddenly blurting out "I am an American. Are you Chinese?" I just sat there in silence. She asked me a question, and I just took a guess that the question was "do you want me to wait and bring you home?" so I said yes. I think the question may have been "do you want me to go shopping with you?" because she came in and pushed my cart around for me. I am lucky to have so many people looking out for me, aren't I? Maybe she did want to show off her American friend, I don't know, but I don't really care either. It was nice.
While I was standing in line, I heard someone say my name and turned around to see two students: Lynn and Alex. These two kids are a very interesting case. They are an item, although they weren't before they got to China. Alex always wears a toboggan with his blond hair brushed into his eyes. He is also an extremely intelligent person. This is his third study abroad, having been to the Czech republic and Ukraine before China. He was one of the ones who dropped out of my Chinese 101 class. He likes to have deep conversations about politics (his major) but he also will humor my kids and listen as they ramble on and on about meteors vs. meteorites. Also, one more tidbit about Alex is that he has had a root canal since he's been in China. Ack. I've never had a root canal, but I certainly wouldn't want my first one to be in China! He's been seeing a western trained dentist, so that's good at least. I have to say though, he does make me feel a bit old. When I asked him how his dentist appointment went, he said he'd been "felt up in the wrong way" by the dentist. I was shocked to hear that a dentist would do such a thing to a patient under anesthesia. Turns out it was just a slang expression...am I that old that I don't "get it" anymore?
I offered Lynn and Alex a ride home with Driver Fang which they gratefully accepted. Getting onto campus in a taxi is hard and Driver Fang is familiar with the guards. They always just let her right through the gate. So, while we were driving back, Alex started asking me why I was taking 101 instead of 102. In other words, he thought my Chinese was good enough that I should be in 102. As flattering as that is, it's not at all true :) I know a few choice phrases and not all of them are all that useful. He then went on to tell me how he'd heard several people talking about how good Chris' language skillz are. Yeah, tell me something I don't know, lol! I'm not bashful when it comes to bragging on my hubby. People always tell me how good his Chinese is. As I'm beginning to learn the language myself, I realize what an accomplishment this is. As I write this, he is typing away at a syllabus to send a way with an application. He's looking hard for jobs for the fall.
Speaking of which, he has officially been offered the chanced to stay here in the fall. We'll keep that option open in case we have no other job offers, but we both feel that we owe it to our kids to get them back to the States. Both Zack and Petey are literally counting down the months and days until we leave China for good. "And then I'm never coming back to China in my whole life!" says Petey. I'm sure they'll change their mind eventually, but for now they feel very strongly about this :)
One last thought: I cleaned up the trash on the grassy hill. My kids play on that grassy hill all the time and it's sprinkled with litter. Today I decided to do something about it and I picked most of it up. It felt good to do something like that. No one made me do it, no one knew I did it, but it looked so much better. I made myself happy.
And now, good night. Let's hope I don't cough all night long with this yucky cold. I need sleep.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 05:43 pm (UTC)